Growing
by AlwaysSeptember
Summary: "You're going to be okay Peeta." "No, we both are." This fills the gaps between the lines on page 388. Filling in the blanks of how Peeta and Katniss grow back together. Rated T for mild swearing.
1. We'll be Okay

Suddenly the air breaks and everything falls, it's as if she snapped. He thought that maybe she had changed, times had changed. He was wrong. He watched helplessly as she sobbed. She wouldn't let him touch her.

He finally grew tired of it and stood. He walked into her kitchen, a kitchen he learned over the months. He grabbed two cups and made tea. He came back to her, like always, to find her withering. He set the tea down in front of her, prepared just how she liked it. She sat rubbing her eyes.

She looked at him for a moment. It's almost as if he's given up on her. It's been almost weeks since she's spoken. There's nothing left of her. Just an empty shell.

"I'm going home." He says softly, standing. Running his finger through his blonde hair he walks towards the door. Sighing she murmurs "See you at dinner." But he didn't hear. Then he's gone and she's left alone again. She wants to speak to him she just can't. She pulls her knees to her chest, and like a small child she rocks back and forth.

She looks around her living room. Her father's old hunting jacket lays strewn across an empty chair. Buttercup, an old scruffy cat, lies warming himself in the afternoon sun. Two cups of tea are sitting on her coffee table, but she can't drink. She can't force it down her throat.

She looks around the room for closure, an ending, but she knows she won't find it here. She stands and in the first time in days she walks to the front room. This is the room where I had my meeting with Snow. She thought bitterly. My mother brought us tea and cookies.

"_I know about the kiss." _She remembers how he had hissed it. Forcing her to believe he knew everything. Everything and anything about her. What time she woke up, when she went to bed, what she ate. Everything.

She shudders involuntarily. Then she notices a book that has a great significance to her. The plant book. The book Peeta and she had worked so earnestly on. She flipped it open to find his delicate drawings. And suddenly she gets an idea, a wonderful brilliant idea. A book about people. More specifically. The people we've lost. She almost smiles. But she doesn't. That would be extremely out of character.

She glances at her bow and arrows. Her finger tips run along the string. She can almost feel her blood quickening in the hunt. She steps quickly out of the room. She's not ready for all of those memories. No one is.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOo

She's sitting on her bed when she hears him come in. She listened to his loud footsteps walk down the hallway. "Katniss? Where are you?"

"Up here!" She said quietly. She watches his head appear at the top of the stairs. Suddenly she sees all of him.

"Katniss," He says softly. Biting his lip he enters the room.

"You can come in." She says quietly. Patting the spot on the bed next to her he sits.

"Are you…" He stops himself. Everyone hates this question now. Especially her. "How are you feeling?" He asks instead.

"Just dandy Peeta."

"You know what I mean." He says rather crossly. She flops down on the bed and sighs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't… I don't even know anymore." She stretches her arms across the bed. She looks at him for a moment. She brings her arms back and folds them over her chest.

"I don't think anybody even knows much of anything anymore." He sighs flopping down next to her. She takes his hand. She feels the warmth radiating off of it and clings to it.

"I'm sorry for this afternoon."

"It's okay. I'm still a little surprised you're speaking." He says, he rolls over on his side to look at her. She looks so small and defenseless.

'Me too." She looks down at the clasped hands.

"Do you still love me Peeta?" She asked softly. It's been months since the war. Almost half a year since her had strangled her.

"I don't know." She can tell he's lying. She can see it buried deep, deep in his azure eyes.

"Okay then." She says shortly. She can't help but feel a little hurt. He used to be so sure of his feelings for her. He used to just pour out his heart to her, not caring if she broke, smashed, and tore it to little pieces. But used to doesn't matter anymore. Used to is past tense. He may never be sure again.

They lay there next to each other for who knows how long. Suddenly knocks echo though out the house. He gives her the small half hearted forced smile and stands. She knows it only Greasy Sae. She doesn't even stand. Not until his voice calls her for dinner. She slumps down the stairs giving Sae a small smile. Sae looks surprised but says nothing.

Sae leaves as quickly as she came. Leaving the two to eat alone. Buttercup, her cat, eyes the blonde boy as he eats. Glancing at the cat he scowls.

"I hate him." He says bitterly, shooting Buttercup a dark look.

The girl laughs, almost choking on her soup. "I never thought he would hate someone more than me." She too almost glares at the cat, but can't bring herself to do it. This was one of the last bits of her sister.

He knows without her saying anything what's wrong. He places a hand over hers and smiles slightly. His eyes still hold that clouded torture look. Hers still have the poor crazed girl gleam. They were lost, tortured, abandoned souls. No one cared enough anymore. The star crossed lovers from district twelve were over and everyone knew it. Everyone knew it was a scam.

Sighing he draws his hand back and continues to eat. He doesn't leave right after dinner like usual. He lingers and personally she doesn't mind it at all. He sorts through letters and finds one from Gale. She attempts to burn it but, being the smart one he is, stops her.

"You need to read it Katniss."

"Why? What good will it do?"

"You need closure. This letter might help." Sighing she takes it back from him.

"You're probably right."

"No, I am right."

She offers tea, which he accepts. She remembers her idea while they're drinking.

"I had an idea. Do you remember my father's plant book?"

"The one I drew pictures for?"

"The very same."

He swallows and looks at her. "What about it?"

"We make a book like that for the people who have died."

His eyes widen. "That's brilliant. Did you come up with that?"

She nods, he smiles at her. Standing and walking to the telephone, he orders what would be needed to make it. She doesn't understand how someone so broken could stand by someone like her. She didn't pretend to know why. She was grateful for him though.

He stood in the doorway watching her. She was beautiful. He truly did know he loved her, but he didn't feel like getting his heart stamped on today. Maybe some other time. He wondered where the question came from.

He probably should know by now to expect anything with her. She ran her own show. But he doesn't learn, does he? He lives a life full of regret. If he hadn't confessed his feelings she would have died happily with Gale. Prim would be alive so would Finnick. Everyone would be. Sometimes he wondered if it was inevitable. If it was meant to happen. His father once told him everything happens for a reason. And if it's meant to be it will be.

Maybe that's why he was reaped. Maybe that's why she kissed him that day. Maybe, maybe, maybe. No one will ever know. Maybe everything they went through was to show how much they loved each other. Maybe they had to go through all of that to be together. Maybe that's how it was meant to be.

He doubts it sometimes. Honestly he really does. Sometimes he just wants to give in and let the nightmares engulf him. Sometimes he just wants everything to stop and sleep forever. But time stands still for no one. The earth wouldn't stop spinning for a silly boy's silly wishes. Silly man now actually. He thinks_. I'm eighteen. So is she. _

They are now adults. They would be getting jobs and being pressured into engagement, him anyway. He probably would have been engaged to a scratchy, clingy, merchant's daughter. He would've been perfectly unhappy. Just like his father. The only thing actually keeping him there is his children.

_My family is dead now anyway._ The thought betrays him. He ignored the fact they were dead. If you ignored it, it wasn't there right? Wrong. It was very much there. And the hole in his chest grew bigger the longer he ignored. He wanted to scream. He couldn't remember hardly anything. His head pounded. Clenching his jaw he entered the room.

"I'm going home Katniss." To even him his voice sound broken, mangled, scratched. She looks up at him alarmed.

"Peeta?" She asks softly, standing she makes her way over to him. His eyes don't move from the floor. "Are you…" She inhales they both hated this question and she knew it. "Are you okay?" She wanted to reach out, but didn't quite know how.

"No, no I'm not." His voice sound weak. He's barely holding on now. He desperately wants to be alone. The last thing he wants to do is break down in front of her. Some things you just can't help. His shoulders shake with what she knows is sobs.

She watched as he sinks to the ground head in his hands. She kneels down uncertainly. How different this was. It's usually her being comforted. "Shh… It's okay. It's okay." His breathing becomes rasps, shallow and quick. It's as if he can't get enough air.

"I killed my family, real or not real?" He rasps out. She holds his shoulders, trying desperately.

"Not real! Not real! The capitol killed your family!" She whispers over and over in his ear. It calms him down. His breathing slows and returns to normality. He lifts his head up to look at her. He's still softly crying.

She wipes away his tears, whispering soft words of reassurance. He rests his head on her shoulder and just breathes her in. She wraps uncertain arms around his waist.

"You're gonna be okay Peeta." She whispers after a while.

"No, we both are."

**I should explain yes I really should. Okay I woke up at four in the morning opened my computer and just typed. It's a different style then what I usually use but I love writing in third person. Anyway this is basically Peeta and Katniss growing back together. So yeah. **


	2. Always

**Hi, how are y'alls? Good? Good. SO. I am so astounded at all the positive feed back! It means a lot, really. Uhh. So after this brief awkward authors note…**

He made his way to her door. He steps into the chilly night air. She follows him, her face frantic. He half expects her to ask him to stay. He half wants to.

But she doesn't. "Thank you Peeta for… for everything." She sighs and squeezes his hands in hers.

"It's no problem." He squeezes her hands back. "It's what I'm here for." She smiles faintly.

"Goodnight." She whispers.

"Goodnight." He whispers back. But they both know it won't be a good night if they're not with each other. She bites her lip knowing the nightmares will invade tonight for sure. He knows he won't sleep at all. So they stand there waiting. His mouth opened mid sentence, but his tongue won't form the words. She knows what he's trying to say. She knows, because she feels it too. She takes a few steps back.

He clears his throat. "Goodnight." He whispers again. This time he backs up, then turns on his heels. With his hands in his pockets he walks home.

She stands there feeling oh so alone. She almost can't breathe. The darkness around her is suffocating. She steps back a little more until she finds herself against her home. She exhales and enters. She notices how quiet it is without him, how lonely. She makes her way up the stairs. She falls into a fitful sleep.

Her dreaming is so vivid, oh so vivid. She's running so hard she's panting. What she's running from? She has no idea. She just runs. Then Peeta is there next to her, running with everything in him. Then she realizes it. They're back in the games and the mutts are chasing them. Without a second thought she notches her arrows and sends them flying. She doesn't think she just runs. Suddenly a scream fills her ear, the only ear working at the moment. She whips her head around to see Peeta being dragged by his leg. The wolf mutts teeth ripping his flesh. He screams at her to run, that she have to win for him, and that he loves her. Tears blur her vision. She stumbles to try and help Peeta. Because honestly she loves him. She doesn't know it yet but deep, deep down… she knows that she can't help these feelings.

Strong arms grab her and force her back. She kicks and punches but to no avail. Looking up she sees a smirking Cato. "Alright girl on fire, lets watch lover boy get eaten." He whispers harshly in her ear. She squeezes her eyes shut. She holds onto the fact that he's screaming, however sick it is, it gives her peace knowing he's still alive.

Suddenly the screaming stops, her eyes flash open, and the wolf mutts run back into the woods as quickly as they appeared. She can see his body, mangled and bloody. Violent sobs rack her body; Cato throws her to the ground.

"Come on girl on fire; let's give 'em a good show." He grins wickedly as she stands. She will win this for Prim and Peeta. Cato charges, she dodges. He seethes at her and starts swinging madly. A swing barely scrapes her, but it hurts none of the less. She falls screaming, clutching her arm. Cato, smiling victoriously, asks her "Any last words?"

She clears her throat and says "Prim I love you I'm sorry I died, Gale thanks for being there. Bury me next to Peeta, because I love him." Cato sneers at her and swings back his sword. She wakes up after that in a cold sweat.

"Peeta!" Is the first thing she screams after she wakes. She throws off her soaked nightgown and slips on another one. She looks at her bed, it's soaked in sweat. Not in the mood she goes to the guest bedroom. She lies down for a few moments. Closing her eyes she sees Peeta's mangled body. She sits up and sobs. She sobs and sobs. She doesn't know when dawn came, but she was still crying then.

"Katniss?" A familiar voice shouted. It was Peeta! She was sure of it. She leapt up from the guest bedroom and sprinted down the stairs. Tears were still streaming down her face; her face was red, and her eyes puffy. She saw Peeta leaning against the kitchen counter. His blue eye found her and he was about to say something, but was interrupted by Katniss flinging her arms around his neck. He took a step back and surprise, but like always her secured his strong arms around her waist as she sobbed some more.

"Katniss," He murmured. "Katniss what's wrong?" She drew back sniffing. He wiped the tears with his thumb and gave her a small smile.

"I dreamed you were dead." She said quickly. "And Cato killed me and I…" She trailed off.

"Hey listen, if you have a nightmare just come to me okay?" He offers her a small smile, which she returns.

"Besides," He whispers, his face darkening. "I'm not asleep half the time anyway." She hugs him again.

"Breakfast?" He asked her, gesturing to a plate of cheesy buns.

"Yes please." She said grinning wildly. That made him smile. _I don't remember the last time I saw him really smile. _She thinks rather bitterly.

After breakfast he stands up smiling; he walks into the living room, and walks right back, an envelope in his hands. He slips it in-between her fingers. Kissing her cheek he leaves, causing thoughts to invade her. She watches him walk to the town from her front window. Exhaling she looks at the envelope. She glances at the front; she knows that handwriting anywhere. She closes her eyes in pain. Silently, silently she stands. Walking to the living room she rips open the envelope. His handwriting attacks her eyes. His hand had written these words, his hand had dragged across the page as he scrawled out his letter. _This will be good for me. _She thinks taking quick sharp breaths. _It will give me a sense of closure. I can let go. _

_You'll never let go. _Her own conscience reminds her. _He will always be here. _Then a thought just appears out of nowhere. _I have Peeta._ Peeta, the boy with the bread, the man who would do anything for her, the man who tried to kill her, the man who doesn't even know himself anymore. She sighs unsure exactly of her feelings. She begins to read.

_Dear Catnip,_

_I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't come back to twelve with you. I figured you didn't want to see me. You must think I abandoned you, but I didn't. I'm still here. I always will be. Any way Catnip I know you love Peeta, I know it! So I'm letting you go. I'll always love with you, but I'm not sure I'm in love with you. Does that make sense? _

_I'm in district two now, I'm happy. Give my mother my love. Tell Rory to behave. Tell Vick to stay strong, and most of all tell Posy I love her. Tell them I'm sorry I can't be there. _

_I'm also very sorry for Prim. It was my bomb, my creation. I argued with Coin about how it shouldn't have been used, but it seems you were a threat to her. I'm so sorry. And I know you're probably sick of sorry and pity but it's all I've got left. I honestly don't expect you to write back. _

_I miss hunting with you, and I miss your eyes. I wish you the best Katniss, because after everything you've been through you deserve it. I love you. _

_Yours,_

_Gale. _

_P.S Tell Breadboy if he hurts you I'll kill him. _

With shaking hands she rereads the letter, four, five times. She looks out the window and sobs. Loud, awful noises erupt from her throat. She does the only thing she can think of, she rushes upstairs and showers. Flakes of skin fall off as she strips of her clothes. She avoids the mirror and slips into the hot water. It's soothing. She shuts off the water after what feels about an hour. She dries off and slips into pants and a shirt.

She leaves her hair down. Slipping on shoes she goes outside for the first time since Peeta came back to twelve. She slowly makes her way into town. The people who passed gave her funny looks. She couldn't blame them; she hadn't been out of her house in months. She glanced up at the newly built bakery, smiling softly she enters. As she opens the door a bell rings, signifying a new costumer.

"Hi how may I help you- Katniss?" Peeta asked her from behind the counter. She gave him a ghost of a smile. "Kat?" He says cautiously. It wasn't a statement it was a question. She looked up at him; she slipped the letter across the counter and gave him a pointed look. He picked up the letter, raising his eyebrows at her. She nodded and his eyes skimmed the page. He looked at her after he finished it.

"What exactly are you worried about?" He asked her softly.

"All of that!" She said gesturing wildly at the letter. He gave her a confused look.

"All of what exactly?" She gave him an exasperated look. "Is it because of Prim?" He asked softly.

"Partly."

"Is it partly because you don't know if you should write him back?"

"Yep." He bit his lip in thought. She watched him, how his blonde hair still fell in perfect waves down his forehead, how his bright blue eyes light up, how his eyelashes were so long it's a wonder they don't get tangled when he blinks. His blue eyes found her gray ones.

"You should write him back." He said his voice sounding small. Confusion etched across her face.

"You… you do?"

He shrugged at her. "It might help." She silently walked around the counter and flung her arms around his neck. He looked surprised, but held her tightly.

"Can we go home?" She asked him weakly.

"Of course." He kissed her cheek lightly. She felt like she was on fire when he kissed her. Her hand flew up to her cheek. He hadn't noticed her shocked expression, for he was locking up. She desperately wanted to kiss him again. She settled or clinging to his hand as they walked home together. He looked at their intertwined fingers in surprise. _Had he felt the spark too? _She wondered.

Quietly they slipped into her house. She absent mindedly walked to the living room. "Tea?" He called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," She responded. She grabbed a pen and paper. Sighing she started her letter.

_Dear Gale,_

_Hi, it's Catnip, but you probably knew that. I forgive you. It's probably a good thing you didn't come back to twelve. I don't know my feelings for Peeta, but I just… He's great and he's here for me. I always loved you like a brother nothing more, nothing less. With Peeta it's different. I'll always love you too, but I'm not in love with you. I'm sorry. _

_I'll be sure to tell them. All I know is they miss a lot. _

_I can't bear hunting; I can barely bear writing this. I doubt I'll even send it… It will surprise me if I do. Peeta might also make me send it… I'm sorry I'm babbling. How's two? Twelve is very empty, it's almost sad. I have honestly no idea what to say now… _

_Yours,_

_Katniss._

_P.S Honestly? You don't think I can handle him? _

She wrinkles her nose as she rereads the letter. She couldn't possibly send this! She feels Peeta sit next to her, his warmth enveloping her. She involuntarily leans into him, he involuntarily does the same. It's as if their bodies need each other.

"Did you write it?" He asks her softly, his warm breath tickling her neck.

"Yeah," She said weakly. Before she thought it through she asked. "Read it?"

He took the paper from her. His eyes glanced across the page. He finished the letter smiling. "How I'm I different?" He smirked at her.

"Err…." She turned red and spluttered. Much to his amusement.

"Kat, I was kidding." He smiled at her again; it soon turned to laughter at her face. Her mouth was open slightly.

He stands leaving her feeling cold. He soon sat back down, handing her an envelope. She sighed, placed her letter in the envelope and addressed it. I placed it on the table and looked at Peeta. His blue eyes were fixed on me already.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She watched how he drew, his eyebrows notched together in consecration. It was adorable. _ADORABLE? Did I Katniss Everdeen just think he was adorable? It's true, _Her mind mused. _He's pretty good looking too! _She quickly shut her subconscious down.

Night fell quickly, and they sat next to each other. Just enjoying each other company. He stood to leave, her heart lurched forward. Before she could stop herself her hand latched onto his arm.

"Stay?" She whispered.

He smiled lightly. Pulling her up from the floor. He kissed her on the forehead. "Always," He whispered.

**It's official. I write my best at 3 am. I have band camp tomorrow. DREAD. So some reviews would be nice ;). I'm so happy with all of this immediate feedback! It made me so happy!**


	3. Weeping Willow

**Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? HA I LOVE THAT MOVIE! Okay anyway… sorry about the wait… I have been SUPER busy. I apologize. Also I have 18 reviews thanks so much! Okay Happy reading!**

**I OWN NOTHING! **

She woke as the morning sun streamed on her face. She felt warmth all around her. Sitting up slightly she saw Peeta lying next to her. _He looks so relaxed and peaceful. _She thought with a small smile. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. Settling back next to him, she enveloped herself in his warmth, falling asleep soon after.

About an hour later her eyes blinked open. She turned to look at him. His eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. She watched him for a few minutes; he seemed to be in a deep thought. Finally he blinked and turned to her.

"Hi," He said in a morning voice. She smiled softly at that. He grinned at her, sitting up. She took note of his bed head and how adorable it was. "Breakfast?" He asked her softly. She nodded at him, following down the stairs. She suddenly had the desire to hold his hand or kiss him. Her eyes widened at the thought. Could she possibly have fallen in love with him? After everything they went through? Did it take her that long? Or perhaps it was how she felt all along, and she was just stupid. Who knows?

He set a plate down in front of her; it was filled with bacon, eggs, and her favorite cheesy buns. She smiled warmly at him. They ate in a comfortable silence. It was relaxing to just sit there and enjoy the morning.

"Are you going to send it?" Peeta asks her later that morning. He holds up the envelope addressed to Mr. Hawthorn. She looks at it in desperation. Shrugging her shoulders she takes it from him. Grabbing his hand, intertwining their fingers, she leads him to the mailbox. He opens it for her. She glances at the mailbox then back at the letter, then back at the mailbox.

"Just drop it in." He whispered, holding her hand tightly. She gripped his hand for strength. Biting her lip she tentatively slipped the letter into the mailbox. She felt relief wash over her, smiling warmly up at the blonde boy next to her. He led her back to her house.

"Let's go somewhere." She said, standing in the middle of the kitchen. The 18 year old looked up at her, excitement in his blue eyes.

"Like where?" He made his way over to where she was leaning on the counter. He leaned on it next to her, watching her carefully.

"Let's have a picnic." Honestly it sounded better than sitting in this stuffy house. He nodded at her, grabbing supplies. It was calming, gathering things quietly next to him. He was calming himself. She loved every bit of it. Wait… Loved? Loved?_ LOVED?_ Could she possibly? Biting her lip, she considers it… after all how could she not?

They walked together. Not holding hands but were close enough so their shoulders were touching. She craved his touch. _Odd_… she thought, _I've never felt like this besides when he was_… _captured_. Could she possibly?

She led him to the forest. She doesn't know why. She didn't really think about it. It just seems to call her. She smiled at him, grasping his hand firmly. He looks surprised and looks down at their clasped hands. If possible they seemed to involuntarily shift closer to each other. He smiled at her, and kissed her lightly on the temple. Everything seemed so perfect.

She halted at _their_ spot. Theirs. Her and Gale's. She couldn't breathe for a moment.

"Katniss," Peeta whispered, brushing his fingers on her forearm. "Katniss?" He whispered again, this time holding both of her shoulders. She just stared blankly ahead. So he did what any sensible boy would do, he kissed her. Every emotion he had ever felt towards her was in that kiss. It was just, everything they had missed about each other, all in a kiss. He pulled away after what seemed like hours, it was more like seconds. She blinked rapidly, unsure of what to make of anything.

"Sorry," He said bowing his head sheepishly. "You were just staring blankly ahead…" He trailed off. She nodded multiple times and then realized, he couldn't read her mind.

"Let's keep going." Her voice cracked, but she grabbed his hand and continued on. After about another twenty minutes they arrived at her favorite place in the entire world. The lake. She watched him look around in awe. He blinked twice, and smiled at her.

"How did you find this place?" He whispered still taking everything in. He mind was racing, his blue eyes analyzing every little detail. Oh how he would love to sketch here.

"My dad," She whispered back. "He found it and brought me here as a kid…" She shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what exactly to say next. They set up their picnic under a weeping willow. It leaned forwards its greenery brushing along the water. It looked as if was sobbing into the lake. She couldn't help but think about a girl who lost their love, and came to a lake to cry and be alone.

After lunch they took their shoes off and rested their feet at the edge of the water, the weeping willow providing them shade. She didn't exactly fee like swimming today, and he didn't even know how to swim. So they lay under the tree, their feet still in the water. They watched as the sun sketched patterns in the leaves as it swayed lightly in the wind.

Her head rest on his shoulder. They talked about anything and everything. It didn't matter. They laughed a lot too. She sighed in contentment as a breeze picked up and caused everything to sway. "I love it here." She told him.

"Me too. I would love to just stay. And slowly just fade into nothingness." He said never taking his eyes off of her. She was entranced by him and his blue eyes. Resting her forehead on his, she watched him close his eyes. Hers followed. She wanted to kiss him. Badly. Repressing her feelings she fell asleep next to him.

She woke up to Peeta shifting slightly. He was still asleep. She noticed their position; she was nestled into his chest, his arms wrapped around her. She blew in his ear to wake him. "Peeta, Peeta." She whispered. His eyes fluttered open.

"What time is it?" He asked groggily. Sitting up she shrugged. Looking around, it was getting dark. She knew for a fact going home could be dangerous. And right now she wasn't in the mood to deal with any animals. Big or small. Grabbing his hand she led him to the small cottage. Starting a fire, she nestled next to him. Felling happier then she had felt in forever. Gradually it started to rain. It sprinkled for about half of an hour, and then it became torrential downpour.

They sat in silence for about that long. Just watching the flames. They didn't know it, but they were thinking the exact same thing. _We wore that. _Suddenly the blonde bursts into laughter, she follows because she knows what's so funny. They laugh and manage a few words to make sure they're laughing about the same thing. Words such as fire, Cinna, and chariots were wheezed out as the laughed.

Peeta was the first to speak after their laughter died down. "It seems like forever." He whispers, "Not just two, almost three, years ago…" The rain stops quickly.

"I know," She murmurs. "We've been through so much. Much more than any eighteen year old should ever go through." He merely nods in agreement. She noticed how he seemed more withdrawn today, quieter. She knew something was bothering him, she just couldn't figure out what.

"What's wrong?" She finally whispered. She ran her hands up and down his arm. His blue eyes turned to her.

"I'm not sure," He said after a minute of pondering. She could tell he was lying.

"Peeta, please tell me. You can trust me."

"I know that. I just…" He exhaled in exasperation. "Don't know." He seemed frustrated and aggravated. She nodded not wanting to pressure him. After a few minutes he burst out. "I can't remember anything! My head hurts all the time, when I see you my first thought is, kill her she's a mutt! Then my brain goes crazy trying to correct itself… and it just. Ugh." He buried his face in his hands.

"I understand." She said softly. He looked up at her.

"You do?" He whispered. She could see the tears starting to well in his bright blue eyes. He was so angry and confused sometimes.

"In a way," She moved closer to him. Grabbing his hand and drawing circles with her thumb, she continued. "I do understand. Not with the remembering, but with everything else." She gave him an attempt at a smile, he sort of returned it.

"I miss you." She whispered absent mindedly. He gave her a remorseful and sad look.

"I miss me too." He wore the look of self loathing she knew so well. He was disgusted with himself. She didn't know what to do then. She felt the need to kiss him. She repressed it.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm so so sorry." He looked anguished. "I'm sorry Katniss." He whispered. He started crying then. Loud sobs.

"Peeta," She said softly. She wrapped her arms around his torso, tightly. He hesitantly rested his head on her shoulder and sobbed. He sobbed. And she didn't mind one bit. Some say he was being weak, but Peeta is the strongest man she has _ever_ met. Minus maybe Finnick. He was just strong. How many men do you know could still love, with all of their heart, the same girl after she beat his heart out, and told him pretty much she loved someone else? How many men could be hijacked, but still come back? How many men would give up everything for the girl they love? How many?

"I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry you ended up with the bad end of everything. Peeta you probably are the least deserving of that. You deserve a perfect and happy life. You deserve a girl who would love you back on the spot. A girl who is absolutely perfect. Far from messed up me." She finishes, and he gives her a look so filled with love she wants to kiss him.

"Don't you get it?" He whispered, as if he didn't want anyone to hear, but her. "I can't survive without you." She smiled at him. She felt her heart flutter at his words. She couldn't possibly love him right? In all honesty it was extremely possible, she was just in denial, and was awfully stubborn.

He kissed her softly on the cheek, letting his lips rest there for a moment. She felt sparks and electricity. The same fire in her stomach the she had felt on the beach had returned. He set his forehead on hers, giving her an intense look. She knew, just with that look, that he loved her. He loved her more than life itself. And at that moment, she knew he really had all along. Hijacked or not.

This time she kissed him on the forehead gently, closing her eyes. Then she wrapped him in a hug, nestling her head in his neck.

"I don't want to think about life without you." She mumbled into his neck, being extremely honest. It was as if she wasn't even thinking! She couldn't come out and say stuff like that! But then again this was Peeta, she felt so comfortable with him, so much more herself. It made sense…

She pulled back, and returned her forehead on his. "I love you," He whispered softly against her lips.

Could she possibly?

**Friday nights are always the same in this town! I'm looking up but I'm feeling kind of down. Okay so this is one of my favorite chapters, again written at three in the morning… weird. Anyway for some reason I love picturing Peeta with bed head. I'm also extremely fascinated by weeping willows. Who knows why… but shrug. So I would be absolutely delighted if you pressed that button down there, see it? It says review! Click on it, then type in a few words! You'll be glad you did!**


	4. Only for You

**GUESS WHAT NEXT WEEK IS! MY BIRTHDAY! I'm turning… 17. Sigh… school sucks… it just sucks. I'm in all AP classes and I ****HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK****. Plus marching band is kind of whopping my ass right now. ****Anyway, happy reading. And may the odds be **_**ever**_** in your favor. ALSO I HAVE THE PICTURE AT THE BOTTOM! Sorry to repost this!**

**I DON'T OWN A DAMN THING**

He sits up with a start. He's panting and drenched in sweat. He just woke up from the most vivid nightmare of his life… He's very uncomfortable and there's a crick in his neck. For the first time he registers there's a warm body in his arms. Her warm body. He sighs and sits there, watching the sun stream in through the small window.

He kisses her lightly on the temple and sighs. Why can't the nightmares just go away? What had he done to deserve this? He shakes his head at himself. What hadn't he done? He did deserve this, every last bit. He messed up her life! She would have been alive and whole and in love with Gale. _There would be no rebellion. _A sing-song voice reminds him. _Shut up. _He tells his subconscious, it only made things worse anyway.

He told her he loved her last night… She didn't say it back… He didn't expect her to. She was just Katniss… and she ran her own show. He just hoped her show would figure it out pretty damn soon. Because damn it he was frustrated and tired of waiting like a dumbass! _She worth more than you and more. _His subconscious tells him bitterly. _Besides you've got no one left. Everyone is dead. _

_Shut up! _He screams at himself. He swears that the capitol implanted some negative voice… No, it's just you Peeta… he thinks to himself bitterly. Your heart is hers, always will be. You can't even fight that fact anymore.

But was her heart his? _Probably not._ How could someone like her, love someone like… like… him? He was messed up and went nuts! She's pretty messed up too… In truth she was, she was so unstable and just depressed. It hurt him to see her like that.

He kissed her forehead and slowly drifted back to sleep.

He woke up to find two gray eyes on him. "Hi," He said weakly.

She gave him a half-smile. "Hi," She returned just as weakly. She shifts so she wasn't in his arms anymore. Instead she sits next to him and takes his hands. She's humming softly while she plays with his fingers. No one says anything, for a long time.

"Should we go home?" He asks her, finally.

She shakes her head. "If you don't mind I want to stay here."

"Good, I don't want to leave either." He tells her softly, if only he had brought paper… She stands and lets go of his hand gently. He watches as it falls to the ground.

Walking over to the picnic basket she pulls out some cheesy buns. "We don't have enough food for today." She whispers. "Let's just go home." He clenches his jaw. It's almost funny how quickly she changes her mind.

He nods at her, not saying a word. She places the cheesy bun in his hands, almost robotically. She wasn't getting better… He sighs and stares at his cheesy bun. Deciding he isn't going to eat it, he hands it to her. She glances at is, and takes it without a word. He sighs and stands, placing his hands in his pockets. She stands too. They walk home without a word. He doesn't seem to know why, but he's just frustrated with her.

Sighing he looks at her carefully, she's pursing her lips and is looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Without thinking he takes her hand, which she yanks out of grip, like it was on fire. He stands there with his mouth open slightly.

"Peeta I…" She doesn't finish. He closes his mouth, and clenches his jaw. Without looking at her he keeps walking. She stands there helpless. Finally she sprints to catch up with him. He's shoved his hands in his pockets and is wearing a blank expression.

They reach their homes without a word uttered. He stands there looking helpless, as if he's unsure of what to do. "Come inside, I'll make lunch…" She whispers to him, holding onto his arm. He nods not looking at her. "I'm sorry." She whispers to him at her door.

He nods at her, shrugging. "Yeah, but I'm used to it right?" She stares at him, her eyes glowing with guilt and regret. Without a word he opens the door, gesturing her in. She silently steps past him. She attempts at making him lunch. She ends up burning it. Which makes him laugh. She takes that as a good sign. Throwing the pasta she ruined away, he restarted.

After lunch they work on the book. She sits there with her head in her hands for over an hour. He tries to get her to talk, but she refuses.

"Katniss, please?" He whispers. They're trying to work on Prim's page. Katniss shut down not even half way through.

"You know what? Just go home Peeta! JUST LEAVE!" She roars at him He takes a step back quickly. Looking shocked.

"IF YOU DON'T WANT ME AROUND YOU COULD HAVE SAID SO IN THE FIRST PLACE!" He roars back. She stands up. Her fists clenched at her sides.

"MAYBE I THOUGHT I'D ACTUALLY WANT YOU AROUND!" She screams. As soon as the words leave she regrets them.

"Oh," He says softly, backing away from the room slowly. "I'll just leave then." Her stomach lurches. This isn't what she wants. She wants him to stay… with her. She watches as he leaves. Her heart lurches this time. _No, don't leave me here alone. _

"Don't leave me!" She screams after him. "I can't do this without you!" She hears the door open, and halt. She can imagine him hesitating, shaking his head back and forth. She stands there with her clenched fists. Her eyes are squeezed shut, she desperately trying to keep in tears. Her throat is tight and her head is pounding. The door hasn't shut yet. She screams in frustration.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry, I am so, so, sorry." She whispers over and over again. She doesn't hear his footsteps, because suddenly he's there in front of her.

His hands on her arms. Her shoulders are shaking. "I'm sorry, Peeta." She leans into him, resting her head on his shoulder. She sobs. After about twenty minutes, when she's all cried out, he kisses her stray tears away. She feels like her cheeks are on fire, from where he kissed her. Shivering she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," She whispers into his ear. She loves how warm and safe she felt in his arms. He hums softly in her ear.

"Always," He whispers, smiling softly. She shivers as his warm breath tickles her skin. Their close proximity almost makes her shiver on its own. _This is what real love is._ A small voice whispers in her ear. _You love him…_

She swallows and out of fear back away. She coughs awkwardly, leaving his mouth slightly open. He closes it quickly. "Erm, maybe you _should _go." She hates doing this to him.

His mouth settles into a firm line. "Fine," He says shortly. He looks confused and frustrated. She watches as he walks to the door. Opening his mouth to say something, he thinks better of it and shuts it.

But he does say this "I'm always right here Katniss." He whispers it, but she still hears. "I'm just not sure how much more I can take." He slams her screen door shut, making her jump. What had she done?

For the next few days they tiptoe around each other. He skips meals and she doesn't come out of her house. Until finally, finally, she cracks. It's around two in the morning when she wakes up screaming from a awful nightmare. She practically sprints to his house. She finds him on his front porch steps. His head against the front post. He's watching the stars; she can faintly see small tears in the corner of his eyes.

She sits next to him. "Katniss," He says softly, not moving.

"Peeta," She says pleadingly. 'I'm sorry."

His head snaps up. "That's what you always say."

"Well, I always mean it." She tells him softly. He looks taken aback. Grabbing his hand she kisses it softly. "I really am sorry you know."

He sighs "I know." His blue eyes find hers. She finds it effortless to get lost in them. "Why are you here at two in the morning?" He asks her softly. She can see in his eyes he's sick of this game of back and forth. She was just so afraid. Love… did it really exist? Was it really there? He seemed to think so. But was it really there.

"Nightmare," She whispers. He looks concerned, but doesn't say anything. This was typical now.

"Peeta, do you think love exists?" She asked him. He bit his lip. Before the war he would have said right off the bat, "Yes, of course it does." But now…

"I don't know, I sure hope so. That's the only good thing left in this world." She nods. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I think it exists." She surprises herself with that answer. His eyes grow wide.

"Oh," Suddenly she wants to kiss him so badly, she can barely fight it. "Do you want to come inside?" She nods and bites her lip. Peeta's house really isn't any different than hers. Same layout and everything. He's handed her tea and a cookie when she decides to speak.

"I'm sorry I've taken your heart. It's not mine. I'm not worth it." She says softly. He drops his cup of tea, causing the warm liquid to spill all over the carpet. He stands up and brings her with him. He takes her hand and places it over his heart.

"You know it beats only for you, right?"

**THURSDAY IS MY BIRFDAY! EXCITEMENT! How many of you would give me Peeta Mellark? ;)**

**Also I'm leaving for Disney World on Wednesday so yeah. The very end of this chapter was inspired by Muggleriot's fantastic artwork! Which is down below if fanfic cooperates. It's super sweet and adorable. REVIEW MY LOVLIES. **

**gallery/34799487#/d4p66u5**


	5. The Effect You Have

**HIIIII! Guess what? I'm seventeen now! Jeeze… this is my last year as a 'kid'. Jesus… So who watched Glee Thursday? I did, almost died. Same old, same old. Oh guess what else… I broke my right arm. I am now sporting a lime green cast… insert awkward smile here. Anyway, typing this was rather difficult so if there are some mistakes, or a lot of them, just know it was A) my cast or B) my laziness. They're both contributing factors. Annnnyway… how was y'all's week? **

**Also I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES!**

"_You know it only beats for you, right?" _

She's taking back by the sheer impact of his words. He could stop an army with just his words. He could persuade millions. That fact alone; amazed her. But the words themselves, she didn't know how to respond to.

So she stood there with her mouth open slightly, eyes wide, like a moron. Before she could stop it one word slipped through her lips. "How?' How! How? Out of millions of words, that might've meant more to him, she asked how.

With Peeta being Peeta, the natural response was "How could it not?" Stunned again by his sheer words, she stands there. Until finally, finally, she throws her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," She whispers over and over again.

When she pulls away he smiles softly at her. He says the age old word that makes them both smile. "Always,"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A few days later_

"Are you staying?" She asked him frantically one night.

Nodding he said "Of course." He takes her softly by the hand and leads her up the stairs. She flops into bed, not even bothering to change. She watches as he turns off the light. He crawls into bed next to her, wrapping his warm arms around her. It's funny how much she feels at home when he's holding her. She feels as if nothing could hurt her. That she will always be safe with him.

She feels his lips on the top of her head. Closing her eyes in contentment she rests her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. How cruel was it that mere months ago, she thought it best if it wasn't beating anymore. She thought that she would be better off with him dead. Now? She could barley hold on without the steady beat of his heart.

Around five in the morning her phone rang. Peeta moaned, turned over, placed a pillow over his ears. The phone kept ringing and ringing. Finally, pulling his head from the pillow, he looked at her. She was under the covers as if to block all the noise. Groaning he got up to answer it.

"Hello?" He said groggily.

The man on the other end was _very_ surprised to hear Peeta's voice. He almost dropped the receiver. Swallowing his pride, and yes jealousy, he spoke.

"Is Katniss there?" He spoke it softly, as if he didn't want Peeta to hear. To his surprise Peeta didn't even acknowledge it was him. _I probably woke him up._

"Yeah," The blonde man said, yawning after it. "I'll wake her up, but if she kills me. I'm blaming you." The man on the other end laughs.

"Fair enough,"

"Alright hold on." He heard the receiver being put down. He waited a good five minutes, but he didn't get aggravated. He knew how hard it was to wake her up.

Finally he heard her voice. "Hello?" _This better be good. _She thought bitterly.

"Hey Catnip,"

"Gale?" She whispered. The blonde's, whom was nearly asleep on the kitchen table, head snapped up. Realization seemed to wash over him.

"Ohh," He said softly. She almost laughed at him. _He's cute when he's tired._

"What do you want?" She asked Gale evenly. She heard him clear his throat multiple times before he spoke.

"I just got your letter."

"That's great." She was tired, and honestly didn't feel like dealing with him.

"I need you!" He blurted out. Her eyes widened in shock. _Please don't do this to me. _She repeated in her head.

"Gale… I."

"Look I know. I'm coming to twelve in a few days. We'll talk then okay? See you then."

"Gale I don't think-"She started, but it was too late. She already heard the drone of his silence. He had hung up.

Suddenly Peeta was there next to her. "What's wrong?"

"He's coming to twelve." She uttered. Running her fingers through her hair, she leaned into him.

"Oh," Peeta said. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding tightly. "When?" He whispered.

"I don't know, a few days I guess." She mumbled into his shoulder. They stood there for a few minutes in complete silence.

"You want to try and go back to bed?" He asked her softly. She nods and drags him back to their room. _Their? Their! _She screamed at herself. When had it become their room? Theirs… The words slid off her tongue easily. Theirs, hers and Peeta's. Theirs…

She lay their rigidly thinking about that. Theirs? Did she want to become his? What did that even mean anyway? She fell asleep thinking about it.

She was in President Snow's office. Snow himself sitting at his desk, a white rose on his lapel. The stench of roses was overwhelming, she almost vomited. "Katniss," Snow seemed to hiss at her.

"What do you want?" She sounded braver then she felt. Instead of answering he smiled that malicious smile. "What do you want?" She asked fiercer this time.

"Bring them in." Snow said, never taking his eyes off the Mockingjay.

'What? Bring who in?"

"Please Katniss, patience, you shall see soon enough." Another cold malicious smile.

Suddenly the door to Snow's office snapped open and in walked four guards. One was holding a blonde man, who looked on the verge of death. Three were holding a fighting dark haired man.

"Let me go! Get off!"

"Mr. Hawthorne!" Snow said sharply. "Why can't you be like Peeta over here?" Snow laughed maliciously. To Katniss' horror Peeta and Gale were strapped to chairs.

"Now Miss. Everdeen. Chose." Snow said cruelly, gesturing to the two boys.

"Excuse me?" She asked softly.

"Chose between Gale, the man you've known most of your life, your best friend. Or Peeta, the man who has loved you far longer than Mr. Hawthorne over here, the one we both know you're starting to feel something for.' Snow smiled wickedly again.

"I… I can't." She stammered.

"Wrong answer." Snow said, waving two fingers at the guards. Suddenly the two boy's screams filled the room. She whipped her head around at them… They were being electrocuted.

Peeta wasn't really screaming he looked more like he was dying. Gale, however, was screaming.

"Peeta!" She screamed.

"Is that your answer?"

"What No!"

"Turn it up." Snow said to the guards. They turned a knob on a control panel. This time Peeta screamed. It nearly broke her down.

"Stop it. Stop it!" She screamed at Snow. Snow, who had leaned over the desk, was now in her face.

"Then choose." He seemed to hiss out. "You have thirty seconds or they both die."

"Let me at least talk to them!" She screamed. Snow, who seemed in no hurry, nodded.

"Very well, turn it off." The screaming stopped. The two men's chests were both heaving. Peeta looked as if he would die at any moment. His shallow face seemed too long for her. Her eyes longed for him, she just didn't know it.

"Gale!" She breathed running over to her best friend.

"Catnip!" He breathed out in return. "You have to pick who you can't survive without."

"But I need both of you!" She exclaimed, dread taking over every inch of her body.

"No, you don't. You need someone who makes you happy. Someone who makes you need everything about them. Who you would miss if they died. You'd miss them so much you would want to die too. Yeah, that's what I thought." Gale said, as he looked over at Peeta. "You love him." Gale kissed the girl he thought he loved on the forehead.

"Go." He said quietly.

"Peeta!" She breathed.

"Katniss," He whispered, tears freely streaming down his face. "I thought I lost you."

"No, I'm still here Peeta." She said wiping his tear away. It hurt to see him cry, and the hurt scared her.

"I know," He whispered, she took his face in her hands. "I love you." He murmured. Leaning forward Peeta brought his lips to hers. It felt amazing. He pulled away, crying still.

"Good-bye," He said softly against her lips.

"What? No, Peeta!" She was drug away from him.

"Kill them." Snow said flatly, as if he had grown bored.

"No!" She shrieked, but it was too late. Two guards moved forward and injected a shot into Gale's arm. Moments later he was dead. She was already sobbing. She couldn't help it. She watch in upmost horror as the guards moved to Peeta. In less than five minutes he was dead too.

That's about the time she bolted awake. "Peeta!" She screamed.

His arms came around her, pulling her into his warmth. "Hey, I'm right here… shh... it's okay." He murmured soft words of reassurance into her ear. His warm breath tickling her skin.

She gripped his shirt as if her life depended on. She sobbed into him for a while. "Don't ever leave me." She said a few minutes later.

He looked down at his feet. Then he looked back at her. "If you don't leave me." He whispered back. That sentence really took her back. She had forgotten that Peeta was a little insecure too. He needed her just as much as she needed him. How cruel had she been?

She said nothing to him. Just held him tighter.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was a Friday when Gale came. He knocked on their door around two. She was the one to open it. "Oh umm… Gale." She said messing with her braid.

"Catnip." He said, smiling at her slightly.

"Katniss, who is it?" Peeta said from the hallway. The dark haired man scowled at the sound of his voice. Suddenly the blonde came into view.

"Oh, Gale." Peeta said in a small voice. "Should I go?" He whispered into her ear.

"No, I need you here." She whispered back. Turning towards Gale she sighed. "Come in."

He gave her a half-hearted smile and walked in. She showed him to the living room and sat awkwardly. "What brings you to twelve?" She asks, trying to keep the silence from becoming too overwhelming.

"Work," He said softly. "Are you and Peeta… together?" He asked dropping his voice.

"No," She said in a small voice. She avoided his eyes waiting for Peeta to come back from the kitchen. He came back with a cup of tea for Katniss.

"Sorry it took so long." He said sitting next to her. She smiled at him.

"It's okay. Thank you." He smiled right back. Gale shifted in his seat, feeling very awkward.

"I… uh." Gale started, he seemed unsure of how to say this. "Was hoping to talk to Katniss alone."

"Oh erm… Yeah. I can go." Peeta said standing. His finger tips brushed along Katniss' shoulder blade. She shuddered involuntarily.

"I'll see you later. Okay?" He whispered to her.

"Okay, come back for dinner alright?" She said, walking him to the door. He kissed her on the forehead and walked off the front porch steps, waving over his shoulder.

She sat back down in the living room with Gale. "What do you so desperately need to tell me?" She asks flatly.

Gale stands and makes his way over to her. He kneels down in front of her and takes her hands.

"Katniss, I was wrong… I do love you. A lot. I need you. So if it's not too much to ask. Come back to two with me?" He finishes, waiting for her reaction.

"I… I. Gale… I don't know."

"Katniss, there's no way being in twelve is helping you. Plus Peeta… I doubt he's helping you get better anyway…" He said standing.

"I'll think about it." She whispered.

"Good." Gale said grinning. He kissed her on her forehead. "I'm going to go see my family. I'll come back for dinner. Bye." Then he was gone and she was left alone.

She stood, walked to her front door, and walked over to Peeta's. She opened the door without knocking, as usual. She found him in the kitchen, cutting something with a very sharp knife.

She cleared her throat, trying not to scare him. "Oh, Hey Katniss," He said, smiling at her. "How was your talk with Gale?"

"Fine," She said shortly, making her way over to him. She stood on the other side of the island, watching as his hair flipped into his eyes. "You need a haircut." She tells him, brushing the hair out of his face with her fingertips. He smiles at her, but doesn't reply.

"Peeta,"

"Hmmm?" He doesn't look up from cutting.

"He asked me to go back to two with him." She said. He finally stopped cutting his carrots and looked at her, his blue eyes trying to memorize every bit of her face. His blonde hair flipped into the corner of his eyes, his eyes void with any emotion.

Finally he speaks. "Are you going?" He asks it in a whisper, as if he's afraid for the answer.

"I told him I'd think about it." She tells him honestly, searching his face for any emotion.

"Oh." He turns his back to her and throws the very sharp knife in the sink. He leans against the counter with his head hung, still not looking at her. She walks over to him and grabs his hands.

"You'd leave me like this?" He asks after a few minutes.

"Leave you like what?"

"Alone," He says, finally looking at her. His blue eyes are filled with so many different emotions, it startles her. She doesn't respond. "Whatever Katniss," He says sighing, ripping his hand out of hers.

"You should go with him." He said, after a few minutes of silence.

"Why do you think that?" She asked in a choked voice.

He gave her a looked so saddened it almost broke her down to tears. "You obviously aren't happy here with me, and I'm sorry."

Smiling at him, she walked to his side, snaked her arms around his waist, and held him.

She murmured something in his ear so softly he almost didn't hear it. "You have no idea the effect you have on me."

**Okay! FINISH! So guess what, I got sick so I had to stay home during freaking homecoming! Ugh! I, for some reason, really don't like this chapter. It seems… I dunno. Tell me what you guys think! I love you all!**


	6. I'll Love You Anyway

**Hi everyone. I'm writing now, because I desperately need to. My boyfriend's younger sister was found dead in the forest by his house. She hung herself because she was being bullied and threatened, and didn't tell anyone because if she did the bullies would kill her. She was scared and felt alone. She was fifteen years old, she had her whole life ahead of her. If anyone needs to talk ANYONE don't hesitate. I know that most people don't want to talk about, because they feel like no one listens or understands. But I'm here if you need to talk, I'll listen. I'll help to the best of my abilities, because I went through some of the same things. Don't hesitate I don't care who you are, or what you're going through. If you need someone, anyone, to talk to, I swear on my life I'll be here for you. I love you all. **

**~September. **

**Now on with the chapter. Sorry to repost but I posted it really late and I wanted to make sure everyone saw it and wouldn't be all confused next update. I LOVE YOU ALL!**

"_You have no idea the effect you have on me." _

Her words bring a small smile to his face. "Does that mean you'll stay? Here, with me?" He asked her, biting his lip.

"I'll think about it." She says softly. Peeta gives her a half-hearted smile, not knowing it was the exact words she had uttered to Gale.

"Do you want to help me ice the cookies?" He asked her, desperately trying to fill in the silence.

"Peeta, you know I'm not very good at that." She says, giving him a soft smile.

"Come on. It's not that hard." He hands her a bag of icing, and sets a tray of cookies in front of her. Somehow, unknown to both of them, she managed to get icing on his face.

Smirking he flung some back at her. "It's on blondie." She said menacingly. They ran around his kitchen, leaving it a mess. She sprinted out the door, she was laughing and screamed "You can't catch me!". She nearly screamed in terror when his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I got you." He said, a smile in his voice, his warm breath tickling her skin. She turned to look at him, still in his arms.

"Now that you've got me what are you going to do with me?" She said, grinning at him. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember where he had heard those words before. Then it hit him, he had said them. His eyes flashed open, blue on gray. She looked concerned, her brow crinkled. His left hand moved from her waist, to cupping her face. She closed her eyes and leaned forward. They were both ready for the kiss. Both ready to feel the spark again.

When a cough behind them interrupted. She pulled back and turned her head around, springing out of Peeta's warmth. It was Gale, scowling at Peeta.

"I'm sorry… was I interrupting?" He said clenching his jaw.

"No, that was nothing!" Katniss said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Peeta offered to have dinner at his house. "Wow," Was the only word that came out of Gale's mouth when he entered the kitchen.

"Yeah we kind of got into a food fight…" Katniss said softly.

"I see," Gale said, picking up Katniss braid, which was coated in icing.

She looked embarrassed and yanked her hair out of his hands.

"You can use my shower if you want." Peeta offered to Katniss, while he attempted to clean. "You have some clothing over here." She offered him a genuine smile and walked up the stairs.

Peeta watched her walk up his stairs and smiled. He tried to ignore the awkwardness of Gale's presence, but it was too overwhelming. He wiped off the counter, biting his lip, when Gale slammed his hands down on the counter.

"Would you stop?" He demanded. He looked angry and on edge.

"Sorry?" Peeta asked clenching his jaw.

"Just when I think that maybe I've gotten her you come in and be all wonderful!"

"Maybe if you just quit acting like she is a thing and not a person. She'll love you." Peeta said his blue eyes fierce.

"It's not that simple." Gale said, rubbing his face tiredly.

"I know. But Gale listen, like you said before she'll chose the one she thinks she can't survive without. I've accepted the fact it might not be me. If she's happy so am I." Peeta finished softly, sighing.

"Could you just stay out of the picture for a few days?" Gale asked after a while.

"What?" Peeta asked, understanding perfectly what Gale wanted, just not believing him.

"Just leave me and her alone okay?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Dinner was awkward at best. Nobody said much of anything. After dinner Gale asked to go to the meadow.

"I'll go get your sketch pad Peeta." Katniss offered. She knew Peeta always liked to have it with his while out in nature.

Gale narrowed his eyes at Peeta. Peeta narrowed his right back, refusing to feel small. He rubbed his face "Thanks Katniss," He said softly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. How she responded shocked Gale the most. She took his hand the clasped hers and kissed it.

Gale watched her walk away, all of the hope he had, that maybe, possibly she would be his, was gone. He sighed and offered a feeble smile at the boy with the bread. Peeta returned it awkwardly.

"She loves you." Gale says simply. "And I'm sorry I tried to get in the way." He stands, his chair scratching the hardwood, making Peeta cringe.

"Tell her I'll miss her and lover her forever." And just like that Gale was gone.

He heard her walking down the steps humming. "Peeta these are amazing… Where's Gale?"

Peeta sighed and stood up; he took her hand and held her wrist. "He left. He told me… to tell you he'll love you and miss you, but he realized something."

"What did he realize exactly?"

"That he was to late… That… that you love me." His piercing blue eyes find hers. Her eyes widen, she opens her mouth slightly, and then closes it.

"I think he's right." Peeta whispered, smiling, he kissed her forehead softly.

_I think he's right too. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

They decided to still go to the meadow, walking hand in hand, laughing and talking, they absorbed the warmth of the summer night. They reached the meadow, or what was left of it. She watched as fireflies danced around, illuminating the world around them. It took her breath away. She understood then, why he drew so much. It was his comfort, his peace. It took her breath away.

His hand moved quickly across the page, trying to take advantage of what little light he had. He finished roughly fifteen minutes later. Sighing in contentment he threw his sketchbook behind him. He laid down resting his head on his arm. She copied him.

"I wish I could freeze this moment right here right now, and live in it forever." She whispered to him. He took her hand and kissed it softly. Somehow that day seemed to stick out above the rest; the capitol didn't mess with that memory. It was one of the last pure things left in his life.

He smiled and said "Okay, I'll allow it." She laughed at his words, the same words she had used on the rooftop that night.

They held hands the entire night, laughing and talking. Around three hours later they walked home. Peeta spun her around, laughing. She landed in his warm chest. Their eyes met.

"Peeta," She whispered.

"What?" He whispered back against her lips, wanting desperately to kiss her. He hand rested on her neck, he leaned their foreheads together.

"You know how you said I would pick the one I can't survive without?"

"Yeah,"

"The truth is I can survive without both of you." The wind was knocked out of him then. Both his hands were cupping her face, searching her eyes. "But I need you." And then she brought her lips to his and every feeling she had, had for him returned. Love, lust, joy, anger, enjoyment, want, need, desire, frustration, everything.

She felt him smile in the kiss. He wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She pulled apart slowly. "I need you too." He whispered, still smiling. That's when she kissed him again

"I love you so much," He whispered against her collarbone.

"I'm not worth it. I'm so full of flaws." She mumbled, kissing the top of his head.

He looked at her, and cupped her face. He smiled slightly. He kissed her forehead, her temples, her eyelids, and her cheeks. His lips brushed against hers when he pulled away.

"I'll love you anyway."

**Sorry it's so short. It was to make up for the fact that I might not update for a while. My boyfriend needs some support right now… Keep him and his family in your prayers. **

**Also, I had some-what of an epiphany about Gale. He isn't a bad person… he was just angry and upset. He loved her and wanted the best for her too… But I don't respect him he made bad decisions, like most of them. But in general he wasn't a bad person per say. Just unlikable and moody. So yeah. **


	7. Finding Flaws

**HELLO PEASANTS! HOW ARE YOU? Good? Great. I haven't updated in a while. Life really hasn't given me a break in a while… Life hates me and is out to kill me in my sleep with a spoon. Yeah. I'm in a weird mood today. HAHAHAH. Who knows why? Whatever. So yeah.**

**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM.**

_"I'll love you anyway."_

She smiled at him, lacing her fingers with his they walked to their home. Theirs, yes, that sounded right to her. That sounded perfect to her actually. Theirs. Her and Peeta's. Peeta and hers. It's almost funny she feels this way now, because just days ago she was questioning this.

Now it seemed perfect. Now she wants nothing more, then to just be Peeta's. She laughs at herself in her head. How stupid was she? It took her this long to realize her feelings? It took her this much heartbreak? She watches the man whose heart she broke. He was looking at the ground, biting his lip. His blue eyes were bright and vivid. His eyelashes were still long, it was a wonder they didn't get all tangled.

She couldn't find one flaw.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She woke up at three in the morning. She didn't feel his warm arms around her. She turned to look at him, but found him sweating, his face contorted in pain. He was shaking, screaming. It scared her. Suddenly he locked up and didn't move.

"Please!" He screamed, "Anyone but her!" He was talking about her, she knew it.

"Peeta," She said softly, touching his arm. He writhed away from her touch. Shaking violently he continued his screaming. Then the screaming stopped. He gasped and sat straight up in bed. He was gasping for breath and was still shaking. He looked around; his blue eyes met her gray ones. The azure orbs were filled with fear. Her arms snaked around his waist, holding him tightly.

"Shhh… It's okay love. It's okay." She murmured over and over. She stoked his blonde locks and kissed his head. His shoulder started shaking in what she knew was sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and sobbed. He pulled his head back to look at her. She wiped his tears away with her thumb and kissed his cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked him softly.

"They were torturing you." He gasped out, his voice horse and cracked, from the screaming and crying. "And I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I begged Snow to kill me instead, but he just played your screams louder and made me watch. And then you died." He whispered the last sentence out. He wasn't looking at her, but at the messed up sheets around him. She cupped his face with her hands.

"Not real. I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere." She offered him a weak smile as he met her eyes. He crashed his lips onto hers without warning. Her eyes drifted closed as she kissed back. She wrapped her hands around his neck, enjoying this moment of pure bliss.

She woke with a start. The rays of sunlight streaming in from the window etched across her face. She closed her eyes again, releasing a breath. Opening her eyes she turned her head to find Peeta. His arm was slung across her waist, his other arm stretched out in front of him. She kissed forehead, "Peeta," She whispered softly.

He moaned and shifted a bit. "Peeta," She said her voice regular volume now. She kissed his lips this time. "Come on get up." She watched him for a few minutes, nothing.

"Fine!" She swung her legs off the bed and stood up. She heard his laughter and spun around. "You weren't asleep at all? Were you?" She said grinning at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, I wasn't." He said grinning at her, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Come here." He said holding out his arms. She took a few steps forward, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly. She smiled at him and hummed softly.

"I love you a lot, you know that?" He murmured. She smiled at him, running her fingers through his blonde hair. For the first time in a while she was happy. Honestly and truly happy. Not the fake happy she had learned to perfect over the years, not the fake forced smiles that were more like grimaces. No, actually truly happy. It was all thanks to him, Peeta. He made her world a little brighter, a little softer. No one besides Prim had done this to her, and with Prim it was different. With Prim there wasn't a happy buzz in her head and stomach. She didn't long for Prim's company, like she did Peeta's. Peeta was just a different type of happy.

And this different type of happy excited her. It also scared her. _What if he gets taken from me again? _

She had to brush off this scared childish thought almost every day. _What if he leaves? What if he gets sick of my absolute insanity? What then? What if he breaks my heart? What If I actually do… love him?_

He sighed and stood up, his arms still around her. He looked down at her, analyzing her face. His blue eyes scanning for something. He slowly brought his lips to hers. It was a soft and sweet kiss, but nevertheless it made all of her insecure thoughts fade away. It brought back the fire she had felt for him. It reminded her how good the boy with the bread was.

He pulled away and smiled softly at her. "Breakfast?" He asked, removing his arms from around her.

"Breakfast." She agreed kissing his cheek.

After breakfast she walked up the stairs. She dressed quickly and made her way back down, humming as she made her way to the kitchen. She found Peeta cleaning up breakfast. His Blonde hair flopped into his eyes. She made her way over to help him with the table. He smiled lightly at her.

"You look gorgeous." He said sweetly, kissing her forehead, causing a blush to creep in her face. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you," She loved it here with him. She loved the warmth and openness of everything. It was just bright and wonderful. It was if the world could be good again. It made her feel hopeful. It made her believe that things will get better with Peeta, life will go on.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was Friday, when it happened. He was in his kitchen, cleaning up. She was sitting at the table, drinking tea and watching him. She smiled lightly as his blue eye met hers. He smiled back and continued working. He moved to put a very sharp knife away when it happened. His brain twisted and he couldn't remember a thing.

_Kill the mutt. Kill Katniss! _His subconscious screamed at him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and dropped the knife, which landed on his foot. He felt searing pain spreading up his leg. His head spun, his entire world was a blur of colors. Suddenly her arms were around him, her head rested on his shoulder.

She murmured soft words of reassurance in his ear, over and over again. Twenty minutes of this until his breathing calmed and his head stopped spinning. He eased his eyes open and let out a shaky breath. Her arms stayed around him though, reassuring him it was okay.

"You're a mutt, real or not real?" He whispered, still clutching the counter.

"Not real," She whispers softly in his ear, kissing his cheek.

"I tried to strangle you, real or not real?" This caused hesitation on her part, he could tell. "Real or not real?"

"Real, but you weren't you." She says finally. She lets go of his waist as he turns around.

"You loved me, real or not real?"

She bites her lip and meets his eyes. "I don't know. You loved me. Everyone said I did. I must've."

"You fell for the old me, real Peeta. He's dead and gone. He's never coming back. You fell for the good Peeta. I'm not good anymore. I'm not me." He tells her, broken. His eyes carry so much weight, he of any of the victors, suffered the most. Besides Finnick.

"That may be true. I did fall in love with that Peeta." She says wrapping her arms around his neck. She kisses him softly. Pulling away she smiles at him. "But I think I'm falling in love with this Peeta. The Peeta I'm standing here with." She murmurs on his lips. His eyes grow wide and he smiles.

"I've always been in love with you. Always." He murmurs and kisses her. Her head spun, the kiss was in short, amazing. She loved the way his lips felt on hers, how they seemed to just melt into each other. It was if… they were made for each other.

Maybe they are, she thinks later that night. _Maybe he was made for me, and I for him. Maybe that's the_ _only reason I'm here, to be with him._ Maybe nothing else mattered. What if that was all supposed to happen so she could be with him? The thought seems crazy, ridiculous. However she can't help but smile at the thought.

"What are you smiling at?" He asks her grinning. They were outside on their porch swing. The fireflies were out and the warm summer breeze blew them around. They were like falling stars. She loved to watch them glow and shimmer.

"Don't laugh," She says looking at him. His blue eyes seem intrigued and he turns towards her. "What if everything that happened, was supposed to? So that we could be together?" She asks him, intertwining their fingers together. He smiles at her and kisses her softly.

"It was all meant to be," He said simply. "Everything is. Everything that happens is supposed to happen. I'm glad it worked out in our favor though. Those past two years, nothing seemed to go in our favor." He watches her. She smiles at him, her eyes glowing. He loved her smile. He just loved it. He loved everything about her.

She stood up and brought him with her. She grabbed her hand and walked down the porch steps. They walked together, falling into comfortable wonderful silence. He didn't know where they were walking to, neither did she really. They were just walking.

He looked at her. She seemed at peace, a soft smile on her face, her gray eyes brightened by the fireflies floating around. Her dark hair down; out of its traditional braid. She looked gorgeous as always but now more so. She was perfect to him. She hummed softly as they walked, it was incredible how at peace she looked.

He looked at her face and smiled. He couldn't find a flaw.

**SO. How are you losers? I'm okay. Life has been insane though… I promise updates will return to normal after everything just kind of settles. **

**Is it weird when I write I don't picture Josh and Jen? Everyone I talk to does… but I don't. I think of how Burdge-bug draws them. I love her drawings so much! I kind of got high off of them before the first movie came out. **

**ALSO! AVPSY COMES OUT FOR ANY STARKID. AHHHH I'M SO HAPPPPPPPPPY. OKAY ANYWAY**

** qh=§ion;=&global=1&q=peeta+and+katniss+post+mockingjay#/d51qvw**

**until next chapter! Lots of love. **


	8. Sick Little Game

**I have some explaining to do… ALRIGHT. Okay. Um. Alright. So about three weeks ago my dad was in a really bad car accident. He didn't make it. So I had that. AND THEN. On Superbowl Sunday my sister was walking home from a party and she got hit by a drunk driver. She's fine, still in the hospital, but she will live! So uhm yeah.  
**

**I do not own the hunger games.**

_He looked at her face and smiled. He couldn't find a flaw._

They just talked that night. There was no kissing, just talking. They were learning about each other all over again. His favorite color was still orange, hers was now blue. He still slept with the window open and double knots his shoelaces. She smiled when he told her that. She remembers that day very vividly. She remembers what was said exactly. She remembers how her throat felt constricted. She remembers how all she wanted was Peeta back.

"

_At a few minutes before four, Peeta turned to me again. "Your favorite color … it's green?"__  
_

"_That's right." Then I thought of something to add. "And yours is orange."__  
_

"_Orange?" He seemed unconvinced.__  
_

"_Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once."__  
_

"_Oh." He closed his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."__  
__But more words tumbled out. _

"_You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."_

___Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.__"_

She shakes her head at her pure utter stupidity. Now it seemed almost too obvious that she loved him. Or used to anyway. Would she look back on this memory and laugh as she was doing now?

She stops in front of her house and they walk in together. She stops again, abruptly. He turns and looks at her concern etched across her perfect face.

"Peeta," She says weakly. She cups his face and crashes her lips to his. He steps back in shock but kisses back all the same. She pulls away from him a looks into his azure eyes. "Thank you,"

"For?" He asks confused. His arms are wrapped securely around her waist.

"For everything, for being there when no one else was. For being you. For not leaving me. For staying with me." She says softly. He kisses her again, sweet and short.

"Always," he murmurs to her.

OoOooOoOO

She sits up in bed, her head pounding. She stands up and makes her way to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face she ponders as to what woke her. She wasn't having a nightmare. She stopped to listen, the house was silent. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her reflection. Her face was the same, her gray eyes cold and calculating. Her hair was in a messy braid. She looked at her arms and all the different burns and scars that littered her skin.

She was not beautiful. She was not gorgeous. She was… nothing. No words came to mind. She feels a pang of sadness as she looks around. The whole house reeked of Prim. Everything. She didn't know if she could take it, now that she thought about it. A soft knock at the door snapped her back in reality.

"You okay love?" Peeta asked softly when she opened the door. She nodded and wrapped her arms around his torso. He didn't hesitate to hug her back. After a few minutes she pulled away and cried. It wasn't loud sobs. It was a small stream that trickled down her face. It was probably the saddest kind of crying. Her face twisted as she cried.

"Hey," Peeta said grabbing her face in his hands. "Please don't cry. Katniss, love, please don't cry."

But she honestly couldn't help it. She needed to cry, if that made sense. She needed to get everything out at once. After she had cried enough she pulled away from Peeta's warmth. He frowned at her, concern etched across his face.

He took her hand and led her to the bed. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. "Now what's wrong?" He asked softly.

"I can't stay in this house anymore Peeta." She said, taking his hands in hers. "Prim is everywhere I can't live here." He frowned at her, but nodded.

"We could move into my house," He offered. She smiled softly at him and nodded.

"Okay," She responded weakly, still smiling. He looked at her and smiled, resting his forehead on hers. She smiled contently, taking his hand.

"What time is it?" She mumbles.

"Five," He responds, sighing.

"No point in going back to sleep then." She says, wiggling out of Peeta's embrace. "You want breakfast? I'll cook." He laughs at her and shakes his head.

"Let's leave the cooking to me okay?" They smile at each other for a while. She nods her head and laughs slightly.

"Okay and we'll save the hunting for me." He smiles at her and stands.

"I think that's best." Smiling they both head downstairs. He starts on breakfast while she does what she can. She makes tea and attempts to help with the pancakes. She ends up just cutting oranges.

He set the syrup down on the table when there was a knock at the door. She looked confused but got up to answer it. She opened the door and felt Peeta walk up behind her.

"Johanna? Annie?" She asked confused. Katniss glanced at the shorter girl of district seven and the very pregnant one from district four. Annie smiled up at her and Johanna smirked.

"Better believe it brainless." Johanna said snidely. "Miss me?"

She laughed a little and smiled at the district seven victor. "Of course I missed you. Who wouldn't? With that sunny personality of yours." Katniss winked at Johanna, who in return scowled.

"Well brainless, can we come in or not?"

"Of course, we were just sitting down to breakfast." Katniss told her moving from the door way. Peeta gave Johanna a look that only they understood. Johanna nodded her head and gave him a weary smile.

He returned it, or attempted to. He sighed and shook his head, his eyes darkening. Katniss recognizes that look. When he remembers his days captive in the capitol, or something about it comes up his eyes darken. He gets a serious look on his face and clenches his jaw. Her gray eyes scan his face and raise her eyebrows at him.

He shakes his head and sighs again, shutting the front door. She turns to him, concern in her eyes. He looks at her and she looks at him, and the world just freezes. It's just him and her, her and him. Like always.

"Are you… Okay?" She asks everyone's least favorite question. He nods his head and shoves his hands in his pockets, his jaw clenched still.

"Fine, I'm fine." He finally says, not breaking eye contact. She moves forward and wraps his arms around his middle.

"I know you're not." She whispers to him, holding him tight. She feels him release a breath and move his hands out of his pocket. He wraps his warm arms around her and rests his head on hers.

"Lovebirds, hurry up or all the food will be gone." Johanna snaps from the kitchen. Katniss lets out a small laugh, as Peeta lets go of her. She looks up at him and smiles, getting on her tiptoes she kisses cheek. He smiles at her and kisses her forehead softly, and takes her hand in his.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A week, Johanna and Annie have been here a week. She shakes her head and smiles. It's only been a week and it feels like they've always been here. Her and Peeta take walks every night, just to be alone she supposes. They hold hands and walk to the meadow and just talk. They talk about anything and everything. They grow so close in just that week alone. It almost surprises her.

_You've fallen back in love with him. _Her subconscious says softly. She sits up in bed at the thought. How could she love? How? After everything that's happened. How? Suddenly she realizes it. She's always been in love with him. The mere thought scares her so. Yet it also has a refreshing and appealing side to it. She's excited to finally and fully accept the fact that she loves him.

She shakes her head at herself and looks over at him. Him, the boy, or man rather, that means so much to her. She smiles softly as she looks at him. His left arm is stretched above him, his right slung over towards her. His hair flipped over on his forehead covering a corner of his eye. He looked so peaceful.

She lies back down and moved closer to him. She wraps her arm around his torso and settles her head in his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. She doesn't try to fall back asleep, she just holds him. She feels him stir soon after and pulls back to look at him. He smiles at her and kisses her nose softly. She smiles back at him and kisses him. Pulling him as close to her as possible.

"Good morning beautiful." He murmurs when they pull apart, causing her to smile.

"Morning love," She murmurs back. They lay there for a while, just looking at each other. In her eyes, he was perfection. In his eyes? She was more than perfection. Perfect was not enough to describe her.

A knocking on their door startled them. "Love birds! Wake up!" It was Johanna, with the usual wake up call. They were leaving later and Johanna wanted to make today count.

They groaned and rolled out of bed. Rubbing their eyes, they made their way to breakfast. She was drinking orange juice when she noticed Annie wince.

"Annie," She started, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I've just been having these stomach aches. I'll be okay." Annie said brightly, flashing a smile at Katniss. Peeta's eyebrows shot up as he looked at Annie. He threw Katniss a look.

Suddenly without warning, Annie let out a bloodcurdling scream. She gasped and clutched her stomach.

"I think," Peeta said standing. "Annie's going into labor."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hours later Finn Isaac Odair was born. He looked so much like his father, it almost broke everyone down. Annie's face when she first saw him was painful to look at.

"He," She said, out of breath and exhausted. Small tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "He has his eyes." And he did. Finn had the breath taking gorgeous blue-green eyes of his father's.

They were like the sea themselves. It made Katniss beyond sad to think of Annie raising Finn, on her own. "Can I have a minute?" Annie asked her voice cracking. Katniss nodded and made her way towards the door, Peeta and Johanna steps behind her.

Johanna sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "Did you see him?" She whispers.

"Yeah, he looks so much like Finnick." Peeta responds, looking at the ground. Katniss doesn't say anything. She just takes in the feelings. Aren't births supposed to be joyful? Full of so much promise and excitement? It seemed now, it was full of sadness and sorrow.

"Peeta, it's not fair." Johanna says suddenly. "Why did he have to die? He didn't deserve it! He had a family! He had a future! Annie was so excited to tell him about the baby too. I just wish…" She trailed off. She wiped her eyes and took a breath. Her voice cracking and full of sadness, she continued. "I just wish he knew about the baby."

Johanna shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "It's not fair at all." Peeta agrees. "It was unnecessary and cruel. The odds just weren't in our favor." He spits our bitterly.

Johanna lets out a dry laugh and hugs him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm going to go pack loverboy." She pats his cheek and gives him a smile.

He smiles back at her and kisses her forehead. Katniss is beyond used to these small interactions between them. About midweek she asked Johanna a question.

"_Hey Johanna?" She asked while she was drinking tea. Johanna looked at her and raised her eyebrows, silently telling her to go on. _

"_How are you and Peeta so close?" She bit her lip waiting for a response. _

_She noticed Johanna's face visibly darken. "Well, we had joined cells in the capitol. Let's just say we grew very used to each other's screams. After that in district thirteen I tried to help him remember. I guess I was supposed to remind him what the capitol had done." _

_Katniss doesn't know what to say. Her grey eyes widen and she feels so depressed again. A terrible way for two people to come together. _

She listens as Johanna walks up the stairs. She listens to the district's doctor move about the kitchen. She listens to the sobbing coming from the bedroom. It's the saddest noise she's ever heard. Her grey eyes flicker to Peeta. She finds his eyes already on her.

"Peeta I…" There was so much she wanted to tell him. So many words filled her mind. She wanted to tell him how grateful she was that he was here. She wanted to tell him how amazing he was. She wanted to tell him that he was perfect in every way. She wanted to tell him she loved him. But she couldn't. The words wouldn't form right. Instead she stood there, desperately trying to form words. She stood there hoping and praying he already knew.

He stepped forward to her and pressed his lips to hers. He pulled away and whispered two words, "I know."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

They left three days later. Annie wanted to be home. Katniss could tell she wanted to feel closer to Finnick. They walked to the train together, Finn in Annie's arms. Peeta held Katniss' hand tightly. The train rolled into the station just as they walked up.

Annie handed Finn to Johanna and flung her arms around Katniss. "Thank you." She breathed out. She pulled away and smiled softly. "For everything." She smiled and hugged Peeta. Then taking Finn she boarded the train. Johanna smirked and hugged Katniss.

The pixie like district seven victor felt so fragile. "Take care of yourself Brainless."

She threw her arms around Peeta's neck. "Be good to her loverboy." She smirked at him and walked to the train. She turned to wave again and then boarded.

"They'll be okay." Peeta whispers to me.

"Yeah, they will be."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Dinner is silent that night. They both look at each other, but neither of them says a word. After dinner he washes up and she watches. She feels guilty; she's never done the dishes in her own home. He sighs and looks at her from across the counter.

"Walk?" He asks quietly. He's not sure what exactly is causing the tension, but it's about to drive him mad. She nods and takes his hand.

Opening the door the summer breeze greets them. The sun is going down in the distance. Everything is warm and peaceful. He walks next to her not sure what exactly he feels. Her hands brush his a few times and then she laces her fingers with his.

His blue eyes meet hers and she smiles. Finally he tightens his grip on her hand. Everything feels awkward and full of tension. It was like a rubber band being pulled back, you knew it would break but you didn't know when.

"Peeta?"

"Hm?" Her mouth opens in a question, but her tongue can't form the words.

"I… I don't know. I don't know." She feels like crying. She doesn't know why, but she does. Her emotions and thoughts are scattered about. Suddenly the rubber band snaps. She cries. No, she sobs.

She buries her head in his chest and cries. She cries for Finnick. She cries for Annie. She cries for Prim, and Rue, and Thresh, and Cato, everyone. She just cries. Peeta picks her up, not uttering a word. He slowly takes her home. Her light body folding into him.

He sets her down at the front door, not losing his grip on her wrist. He opens the door and leads her in. She doesn't say anything to him. She walks up the stairs and throws herself into bed. He follows silently, sitting next to her.

"Katniss," He says softly. "What's wrong?" She sits up and looks at him. She moans and crawls into his lap. He takes her in without hesitation, holding her close. He rests his chin on her head and hums softly.

"Can we move tomorrow?" She whispers. "I can't stay here. Her ghost follows me around."

"Of course love." He says just as soft. She looks at him and kisses his nose.

"Is this all a sick game Peeta?"

"If it is. I don't want to play anymore." He tells her honestly. "I think I lost already anyway."

"If this is a sick game, I don't think I wanted to play in the first place."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hand me the box?"

"This one?"

"Yeah that one." They were moving the majority of her stuff into his house. She couldn't bear hers anymore. Her room slowly filled with boxes. She's emptying her dresser drawers when she finds it, her pearl.

"Peeta." She says, gripping the dresser. He walks over to her and notices what's in her hand. He gives her a small smile.

His eyes flicker, it's as if he's trying to remember. Suddenly a wave of memories crashes down on him. He lets out a small little, "Oh." before he bursts out laughing.

"You know if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls." He says grinning from ear to ear. Suddenly she's laughing with him. Her stomach starts to hurt as they laugh.

They stop laughing and look at each other; Peeta's smile fades a little. "I remember that night really well. It was all real for me you know." She tells him.

"No, Katniss no, you can't do that to me. You can't tell me it was real when it wasn't. I don't care about how you felt then; I care about how you feel now." He tells her, his blue eyes a thunderstorm.

"Peeta," She says softly. "I… I."

"You what?" He says stepping towards her. She steps away from him, until she's backed up against a wall. The intensity of his blue eyes startles her. He's right in front of her now, his hands on her waist.

"Katniss," he says lowly on her lips. She can feel his hot breath on her face. "I love you." He finishes and kisses her. He kisses her with such an intensity she can't begin to explain it. She kisses back, tangling her fingers in his hair.

Minutes later he pulls away, breathless. The intensity hasn't left his eyes, and now they've entered hers. She doesn't say anything to him, she just hopes he knows.

"If this is a game," She starts. "I don't mind playing."

**Okay. You know what makes me beyond sad? Thinking of Annie having to raise her kid without Finnick. It makes me so, so sad. I'm also having some MAJOR Peeta Mellark feels. I reread the books and was like ASDFGHJKL;. But yeah. Also**

**ANYONE WATCH SHERLOCK?! HOLY SHIT. I JUST. ASDFGHJKL; I CAN'T. OKAY. SO erm yeah. **

**UNTIL NEXT TIME LOVE! LOVE ALWAYS.**


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